love

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Do I Matter to God?

While reading a book about prayer I ran across the question: “What would you love to sit down and talk about with God?“

I thought about it for two days before I finally wrote down: “Why do I matter to you?”

It puzzles me. I don’t have a poor self image, but I am not extraordinary in any way, not strikingly beautiful and not a genius. Yet I matter to God. Why?

No answer was immediately forth coming. Did God hear me? Should I not have asked the Creator of the universe such a question?

A week later I remembered something that I had put away in a box in my closet years ago. It is a rag doll I made out of a sock when I was about 10 years old.

I found the instructions in my parents’ Worldbook encyclopedia. (Yes, I still have the encyclopedias.) As you can see it is not the most beautiful doll ever made, but it is one of the first things I made without any help. Over the years I have made much better ones. Why have I kept it all these years? I simply love it because I made it.

I started to think of other things I have made over the years. Quilts, paintings and other miscelaneous things. I love each one and made them with a purpose in mind.

Back to my question for God. “Why do I matter to you?” He answered me in very clear terms. He simply loves the things He makes. I matter because He made me. My value is wrapped up in who loves me. To be loved by God is extraordinary.

If I love a misshapen old doll how much more does He love me? How much more does He love you? Take heart. He is not silent. We just need ears to hear.

For Further study:

Genesis 1:31 “And God saw all that He had made, and behold, it was very good….”

Genesis 5:1 “when God created man, He made him in the likeness of God.”

Psalm 139:14 – “I will give thanks to you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Wonderful are your works, and my soul knows it very well.”

Isaiah 43:4 “Since you are percious in My sight, Since you are honored and I love you,”

John 3:16 “For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish, but have eternal life.”

I Corinthians 1:26-28 “For consider your calling, brethren, that there were not many wise according to the flesh, not many mighty, not many noble; but God has chosen the foolish things of the world to shame the wise, and God has chosen the weak things of the world to shame the things which are strong. And the base things of the world and the despised, God has chosen the things that are not, that He might nullify the things that are,”

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When I am Afraid

I was afraid of the dark when I was little. My Dad, who knew me well, was aware of my fear. One night when he was saying good night to me I heard a banging on our house that made me shudder. My dad took my hand and said, “come with me.” I followed him down the stairs and out the back door of our house. He pointed up to a tree whose rustling branches were hitting the top of our house. He wanted me to see what made the noise so I wouldn’t be afraid. He took me back up to my bedroom and tucked me in. The noise no longer bothered me because my Dad, who knew I was afraid, had helped me.

When I was about 8 I climbed a tree in our front yard. As I climbed I broke off one of the branches I had used to climb up. I couldn’t climb up and I couldn’t climb down. There I was hanging in mid-air. My Dad heard my cry and came running to where I was. He patiently helped me down from my precarious perch. 

My Dad was able to help me because he knew me. He knew I needed His help. He knew I wasn’t always strong enough to get down from trees I had climbed. He knew I was afraid of the dark and of noises that were unfamiliar, but he not only knew me he loved me. He loved me enough to help me.

There is someone who loves me even more than my Dad did. God knows me inside out. God made me and loves me more than anyone else can. He knows I need His help. He hears me when I cry.

As I think about trouble around the world and in my everyday life I often become alarmed…then I remember that God is there to help me with the perceived threats (rustling branches) and the real threats (broken branches). He knows that we are weak and fearful people. He knows we need His help. No matter the circumstances, real or imagined, God has promised to be with us. He doesn’t promise to fix the problem, but promises to be with us. For it is by trusting Him through the darkest times that we learn to lean heavily on Him. If there was never trouble, we wouldn’t know our need of Him.

So the next time you are afraid or feel alone, remember God hears your cry. God loves you. God knows you better than anyone else.  God has promised to be with you.

For further study:

“The eyes of the LORD are toward the righteous, And His ears are open to their cry.” Psalm 34:15

“but if anyone loves God, he is known by Him.” I Corinthians 8:3

“Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name, you are Mine!”…

“Since you are precious in My sight. Since you are honored and I love you…

Do not fear, for I am with you;”  Isaiah 43:1, 4-5

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Time is Short

Fall is in full color. Another year is winding down. What a year it was. January was uneventful until the end when I had a stroke. I spent some days in the ICU. The hospital wanted to keep me 2 more weeks, but I convinced them I needed to get home. I was able to do just that with the help of my family. After several weeks of therapy I am semi-normal. Some things will never be the same, but I am thankful to be here.

When you are faced with death you think of all the things you want to say to all the people you love.

This is such a letter.

My life is made up of so much more than what you see on the outside. Yes, I am a wife, mother, grandmother, and teacher that enjoys hiking, making music, making art, going to auctions, cooking and a good cup of tea.

However, my life is held together by one thing. My relationship with God. Any good you see in me is because of Him. Any bad you see in me is because of my failure…yet He still loves me and calls me His own.

I have known Him for about 58 years. I first learned of him by listening to my parents as they told Bible stories using flannel graph figures and when my father read the Bible to us at the breakfast table and often after supper.

Then there was the music. Hymns and songs that still come back to me with word perfect clarity.

I am so glad that our Father in Heav’n Tells of His love in the book He has giv’n

Wonderful things in the Bible I see, This is the dearest that Jesus loves me.

I am so glad that Jesus loves me, Jesus loves me, Jesus loves me,

 I am so glad that Jesus loves me, Jesus loves even me.

If I forget Him and wander away, Still He doth love me wherever I stray;

Back to His dear loving arms would I flee, when I remember that Jesus loves me.

There are more verses and many more songs. Many with deep theology, some with poor theology. But the point of them all is how much God loves us.

Why does He love us? The short answer is … because He made us.  We might not like our nose or our hair or any number of things we think of as defects, but He made us just so, to serve a purpose, to worship Him and bring glory to Him, but instead we have turned our back on Him. We try to make our own way. These efforts have gone horribly wrong.  The point is we need God. We are nothing without Him. Our best efforts belong on the garbage heap.

So why does He love us? Such wretched creatures surely aren’t worth His time. But you see God is a master artist and we are His masterpieces. We have gotten twisted and ruined, but if we come to Him; He can restore us to how we were meant to be.

Our sin should have meant the death of us, but instead Jesus came to take our place.

To die for us.

To rise for us.

To ascend to heaven to intercede for us.

This is no small thing. This should make us daily fall on our knees in worship and awe. We have been bought with a price. We can choose to continue in our ruined state or we can accept His gift of salvation and watch His transforming power.

There is nothing I can do to earn heaven. It is a simple act of repentance and accepting the free gift.

Don’t delay. None of us knows how long we will be here. Decide before the opportunity passes you by.

I love you, friend, but there is someone who loves you more. Get right with Him today.

“that if you confess with your mouth Jesus as Lord, and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you shall be saved; for with the heart man believes, resulting in righteousness, and with the mouth he confesses, resulting in salvation. For the Scripture says, “Whoever believes in Him will not be disappointed.”…for Whoever will call upon the name of the LORD will be saved.”  Romans 10:9-11, 13

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Giving Honor

They lined both sides of the road. Old, young, families…carrying flags, but no signs that we could see.

We had passed the small local airport a few miles out of town with more than usual security near the entrance.

There was a group of brass musicians near a museum waiting expectantly.

Law enforcement was everywhere, even mounted police, and firefighters with their trucks from many different towns.

Scores of motorcycles were congregating many carrying flags, but no signs.

They were getting ready for someone, but who?

We searched our phones as we slowly made our way out of town.

Marine LCpl Rylee McCollum was coming home today. My sister, Nancy’s voice broke as she explained to my granddaughter that he had been killed in Afghanistan and was receiving a hero’s welcome home. The date was 9-10-21.

This isn’t how he expected to come home to his wife and soon to be born baby.

“No one has greater love than this; to lay down his life for his friends.” John 15:13

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Meanness in the World

When I was in 1st grade a 3rd grade boy ran around the corner of the school building and punched me in the stomach as hard as he could. That was my introduction to meanness in the world. I had no idea who the boy was, had never seen him before and couldn’t have picked him out of a line-up if there had been one. I knew he was in 3rd grade because the girl I was with told me so. At that age I tended to believe what people told me. I walked, doubled over, to the school building and spent the rest of recess inside. I never told my parents and probably not my teacher. I can’t remember.

When I was in 3rd grade a fellow classmate grabbed me by my wrists. He spun me around as fast as he could and let me go. I went flying across the playground, my pride wounded more than my body. He also called me “fatty” on a regular basis. I’m not sure why. I was the smallest and skinniest kid in my class.

In 6th grade I put a change of clothes in my gym locker. It was a pair of bright green jeans and an orange sweatshirt I had gotten for my birthday. At the end of class they were gone. Someone had stolen them. A few days later a tough girl in my class was wearing them. When I mentioned to her that she was wearing my clothes she denied it and looked like she was going to punch me. I let it go. I avoided her as much as I could.

In 9th grade we spent a few weeks going to the bowling alley for gym class. There was a girl who regularly asked me for bowling money. She promised to pay me back. She never did. She was intimidating and popular. I kept my mouth shut and tried not to sit near her.

In 11th grade I had a history teacher who made fun of me in class. He knew I was a Christian and took it upon himself to mock me for that every chance he got. I quit studying and ended up with a D in his class for the year. He made sure to tell me he didn’t think I was college material. I should have told someone, instead I kept my head down and mouth shut. I proved him wrong by going to college two years later and getting As and Bs.

In 12th grade I had a gym teacher who gave me an “Unsatisfactory” grade on my report card. I was horrified. When one of my friends found me crying she insisted on going with me to see the teacher. She marched boldly into her office and demanded to know why I had been given a failing grade.  Her answer? “Karen laughs too much in class.” I didn’t know how to respond. I did laugh in class because I enjoyed it. I wasn’t being disrespectful. I thought I was being cheerful. My friend argued with her for a few minutes, but the teacher’s mind was made up. We both left feeling the world was unjust.

In college I had a speech teacher who gave me an A on every speech I gave in his class. Our last speech was to be a persuasive speech. He spent two class periods emphasizing it needed to be something we were passionate about. After thinking long and hard I settled on persuading my classmates of the evidence that Jesus rose from the dead. I spent hours preparing. Writing and rewriting. I was sticking to the historical facts. My turn came to speak. When I finished my teacher stood up quickly and laid into me in front of the whole class.

“I had no business speaking on such a controversial subject”, he said. “It was not appropriate.”

I had evidently hit a nerve. Seems he only allowed persuasive speech that agreed with his point of view. He gave me a C. I kept my head down and my mouth shut.

It would be unfair of me to think that all third grade boys are bullies. It would be unfortunate of me to believe that every junior high girl is a thief. It would be unreasonable of me to assume anyone who teaches history, gym or speech is out to get me.

The truth is there are bullies in the world and sometimes that bully is me. Each of us must do better. If we love God we will love those made in His image.

Even those who punch us in the stomach.

For Further Study:

II Chronicles 7:14 and if My people who are called by My name humble themselves and pray,, and seek My face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, will forgive their sin, and will heal their land.

Psalm 86:5  For Thou, Lord, art good, and ready to forgive. And abundant in lovingkindness to all who call upon Thee.

I John 4:19-21 We love, because He first loved us. If someone says, “I love God,” and hates his brother, he is a liar, for the one who does not love his brother whom he has seen, cannot love God whom he has not seen. And this commandment we have from Him, that the one who loves God should love his brother also.

Matthew 6:14-15; Matthew 18:21-35; Galatians 3:28

 

 

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The Greatest of These is Love

Our family was under stress. My husband had just retired. We were getting our house ready to sell by cleaning, fixing, packing and throwing away. We were also looking for a new place to live in another town. It wasn’t going well. Most of the places we asked to see were selling before we could make an appointment. Our current house had a string of unexpected things to fix. It had all taken its toll.

Our mood changed from expectant to surly. We weren’t exactly fighting, but our tone must have been off because our granddaughter, Arianna, quietly handed each of us a handmade construction paper heart with the word love written in crayon.

She instructed us to put them in our pocket so we would remember to love each other.

We quietly said, “Oh, honey, we still love each other.”

She wasn’t convinced and her silence brought conviction. We had forgotten that circumstances and things are not what make a happy life. Our love for each other was much more important. Love must be lived out in words and actions and ours had not lined up with what we claimed.

I’m not used to being put in my place by a seven year old, but God will use whatever is available to get through to hard hearts, and Arianna was available.

We accepted the hearts and obediently put them in our pockets.

Our house eventually sold, we found a new one, and survived the move.

I would be lying if I said our surly days were over, but Arianna had helped us to be a little softer and kinder to each other. And every time I think of the paper heart for my pocket I breathe a prayer of thanks to a good God who blessed us with a granddaughter who knows exactly how to speak the truth in love.

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The God Who Forgives

Here it is the start of another year. There is hope for a fresh start, a new beginning. To do better at life than I did last year. But there are old doubts. Can I really begin again?  Can God possibly love and forgive me after what I’ve done?

The simple truth is…”If God doesn’t speak to me in my darkest sin, He doesn’t speak to me at all.” Either he is a God who loves even the most vile sinner and longs for them to turn to him or he doesn’t care for any sinner and will condemn us all to hell.

His love is way beyond anything we can imagine and so we imagine his love is like ours. “Fragile, weak and conditional.”

We love those who are kind to us. God loves those who hate him.

We love those who are worthy of our love. None of us are worthy of God’s love.

We love those who we have the energy to love. God loves with a passion that takes our breath away. It is an unending wellspring of love for the people he has created for one purpose only…to love and serve Him.

And yet we put limits on the limitless God.  We say, “I have gone too far. He can’t possibly forgive this offense. I have sinned too often. He will not forgive me yet again.”

But we forget that he is the good shepherd who leaves the 99 righteous persons to seek and save the lost one. (Luke 15:4-7)

We forget that he loved people like David who were guilty of sexual immorality, betrayal and murder.

We forget he loved the extremely wicked city of Ninevah enough to send a reluctant prophet to preach them the gospel. Jonah tried to get out of the assignment, but God insisted, and the entire city from least to greatest had the nerve to repent. (Jonah 3:1-10)

Such a heart of forgiveness this God has. So at the beginning of this year I bring my past failures to him. I seek His power in changing who I am. I determine to set my eyes on my only hope. The grace and forgiveness of a God who loves me in spite of who I am.